How to tell my parents that I’m?
Bri J asked:
Okay, so here’s my situation:
I’m 19, a high school graduate with honors, starting my second semester of college…to start off with. Aside from all of that–and here’s where the problems begin–I am pregnant, engaged to someone my parents don’t necessarily like, I don’t want to go to college, never have, and probably won’t finish. I want to be a yoga instructor and go to a Yoga Alliance official school instead of college, and just be a mommy (so my pregnancy, as unplanned as it is, is obviously a wonderful thing).
Now a little bit more on my parents: my mom believes in being a “lady” and having courting etiquette appropriate for the Victorian age, is almost one of those super-feminists who prefer to bring the bread to the table, and dad goes out of his way from China to Chile to please her (he goes to school full-time for his Master’s). My mom’s last few jobs have been stressful on her and she’s always uptight, more than how she was when I was young, if at all. She probably doesn’t get this, but I understand her stress and try to dodge it constantly.
My biggest problems are telling them a) that I’m getting married sooner than they think, b) I’m pregnant, and c) I want them to be happy because I’m happy and couldn’t be happier despite the fact that I can’t stand college, don’t want to make a lot of money, and just want to be a happy, yoga-teaching mommy.
So thoughts? I love my life, how it’s turned out, the man I’m going to marry, and I still love my parents very much and don’t resent them at all. I just want to stop disappointing them and have them accept me as much as possible to the point that they can at least speak to me without talking about how I’ve failed to take their advice on life and be “safe”. I know they want what’s best for me, I GET that. I take risks and do things out of order, but I’m smart, healthy, and a good person. I think I deserve some acceptance.
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Filed Under Family |
Tagged With Chile, Little Bit, Mom
Comments
7 Responses to “How to tell my parents that I’m?”
Dude im sooo sorryy
First of all, you’re an adult woman… the life you wish to lead is entirely up to you and so is your happiness. If your parents can’t accept your choices, i guess they will come around eventually.
Are you going to tell your daughter how to live and who to marry when she grows up? I doubt it.
Good parents encourage their adult kids to make good choices. Good parents accept their kids’ choice, and these same parents go on with their own lives. All other parents are “disappointed”… it’s not your problem. It’s their problem.
You are old enough to run your own life. That being said, you are in for a (potentially) rough conversation, but take it from a mother who has had this very conversation with more than one of her children…as soon as your parents get over the shock, they will open their arms to you. Why? The grandchild. Once they get used to the thought of YOU making your own decisions in life, they will focus on the baby (I think its instinct). I fought it at first too…but the birth of my first grandchild was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Not everyone is destined for college, that is not a sin. Since you are happy about the baby, what can they say? Even if they explode initially (allow them to do that without judgement), they will calm down, I promise. Just don’t make it a battle. Gently tell them…….this is the way it is and I want you to be a part of my life……deal with it.
Just tell them. If they don’t like it, then tell them to deal with it. Congrats on pregnancy and marriage! Don’t let your stuck up parents get in the way of your dreams.
The a) b) c) that you listed? That’s exactly everything you need to tell your parents. Period. End of discussion. Love and acceptness is what you’re craving. Being judged by people you love and want to please is a hard thing. But that’s what they’re doing - judging you. Tell them everything.
this is a tough one. Honestly-it sounds like it’s gonna be hard for you to pull this off. I think that the best thing that you can do is live up to the expectations that YOU have for YOURSELF. (Im a 19 year old dude). Honestly, your parents are probably going to be pretty upset about all of this, but I think that any decent parents would be proud to see their daughter off on her own making good choices and being happy, which is where it sounds like your headed. Just show them that you can walk the walk and I think that they’ll come around eventually. Good luck. Help me please:
eehh
your old enough to make your own desiscions
but
IN MY OPINION
no one likes college huney
but they finish college and get good jobs
and if you finish college
the more money you will get with your job then you will get if you didnt finish college
but
your choice really
you can tell your parents i guess
who cares what they think
its your life
live it how you wanna